Saturday, August 16, 2008

Task #19 Sing a Song in Public

Task #19
Sing a song in public

Feeling funky, feeling sad & frustrated…that my battle with these negative emotions was futile. I was noticing them, aware of them, but just because you are noticing and aware of the dishes in the sink doesn’t eradicate their existence. Yep, “Ms. Pissy Pants” and I can’t really adequately describe my feelings that would give this state justice, so enough said there…

But the park sparkled, and I noticed that, too. And I SO wanted to be in a positive state, to seize the moment, to feel connected and alive. The thought to enjoy “THIS BEAUTY” right now, flustered me…HOW? HOW? HOW? My mind short circuited, and Ms. Pissy Pants was still winning…awareness and thoughts had little effect, a toothpick shoveling a pile of bricks. I wanted freedom, escape from this funkyness, and despised the dissonance between what I wanted and where I was inside.

AH! Step in the power of the list….

Abandoned the thoughts and just DID. With fullness of my lungs, I belted the song, and in the bottom of my uterus, something clicked away. No matter the stares, the impression I was exuding, I was just ME. Purely ME, not performing, not achieving, just this animal vocalization of something essential…

And out of the blue, POOF! Ms. Pissy Pants deflated….

Here is the last clip of video from the task! Enjoy!