"If something should ever happen to me" No one will talk about my eventual death with me. Eyebrows furl and voices turn icy. Conversation dries up like Popsicle drippings on concrete during the summer…the comfort evaporating and sucking out easy being. When you speak about your upcoming demise to others, people move away from you. Don’t get me wrong…I haven’t been given a timeline by any outstanding authority or anything. It’s not like I’ve caught some outlandish plague from all my traveling. I don’t have cancer. But a very close friend of mine is scared right now, and her experience is a signpost for me to honor my mortality. In my line of business, I am bombarded daily with stories of woe. Lately, I have taken up the daily affirmation of naming something MISSING from my life for which I am grateful. It starts out like this… I am happy I DON’T have: a cheating husband a venereal disease a yellow sweater a job with the AGI I am happy right now that I don’t have a disease (THAT I KNOW OF). Yet. I am also very much aware that I am on borrowed time. Perhaps it is my past and recent relationships, exposure to cultures that don’t pretend that death is somehow an avoidable family gathering, or maybe I’ve inherited some death gene. What ever the reason, I know that I am going to die. Which doesn’t make me drink gallons of Jack Beam, shoot up powder into the fragile rivers of my nasal cavity, or pick up men with facial hair in bars for mediocre nightly romps. Instead, I tend to gush out heartfelt in-case-something speeches akin to diatribes acted out in lukewarm syncopation on Days of Our Lives. It makes sense that I wanted to create a letter to my loved ones if “something-should-ever-happen-to-me.” I am sending a hard copy to three people I trust just to hold onto when the event occurs…What went into this letter? A whole lot of gush. Click here if you’d like a teaser of the letter… In all honesty, writing this thing took months! Not because I tend to run from ambiguous situations (what can be less ambiguous than death?) but because my words never satiate the gathering mass of emotions continuously multiplying regarding living in this world, regarding loving you. Words insufficient. The things I don’t say as gracious as the ones I choose. Perhaps I’ll revisit this creation from time to time to pay homage, or edit in effort to accurately capture any recession or growth experiences along the way. Perhaps I’ll let it gather the wise barnacles of a time capsule wafting on an ocean floor.
What would you say…if something should ever happen…to me? To you? Simply: I tried to love
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I am a WINNER!
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About Me
- Special K
- PhD in clinical psychology. Single. Pushing 30. Suffering Whiplash from the Roaming 20s...Who am I? What do I want? Where do I belong? Welcome to my self-induced treatment, a testament that we can all be a little crazy in our search for significance.
I am a WINNER!
The LIST!
The Mission:Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.The Criteria:Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part). Visit Day Zero for links to Other Lists and Tips for Creating Your Own My 101 things to do 1001 days FYI: These are things I have NEVER done before or have rarely done in the past COMPLETED ARE IN GREEN! 1.Start a blog and journal about my 100 experiences (completed 7/6/08) 2.Skinny Dip 3. Befriend someone over 80 years old 4.Get a pet 5.Wear a birthday hat through a meal at a restaurant in a month no where CLOSE to my birthday (btw: April) 6.Raise money from loved ones to buy a Heifer (http://www.heifer.org/) 7. Go a week without caffeine 8.Ride a train 9. Eat a quail egg (Arenal volcano, Wed, 8/27/08) 10. Create a place setting for 8 with 8 different patterns found in thrift shops (plate and a bowl) 11.Visit a WA winery and buy a bottle of wine 12. Get a body wrap at a spa (07/08) 13. Participate in a Habitat for Humanity Project 14. Receive postcards from all 50s states (6/50) 15. Finish a NY Times crossword puzzle, (Jon West says “Monday and Tuesday don’t count) 16. Become educated about changing a tire 17. Go to three live music events 18.Go on a spontaneous road trip 19. Sing a song in public (07/08) 20. Buy 20 dollars worth of flowers and give them away to complete strangers 21.pay off one of my 5 student loans! 22. Try to learn how to crochet or knit 23. Cultivate a garden of some sort 24.Ride on a motorcyle 25.buy flowers for myself 26.buy flowers for some one else 27. Go on a blind date 28. spend half a day playing a video/computer game 30. Not drive my car for a week 31.Attend a book or poetry reading 32.Trade something on gimmie your stuff (http://gimmeyourstuff.blogspot.com/) 33.Visit Mount St Helens and the Ape Caves ( 7/5/08) 34. Spend a girls weekend with my sister Caity 35. Go fishing 36. Visit an apple orchard in Washington 37.Drink pink champagne 38. Donate my hair to locks of love (http://www.locksoflove.org/) 39. Do something with dry ice 40. Watch the sunrise and the sun set in the same day 41.Learn how to use google reader and organize my favorite blogs 42.Complete a mad lib asking total strangers to supply the words 43.Ride in a hot air balloon 44.do yum cha or korean stirfry with friends 45. Take a class that features something I am not good at or have never done 46.Buy a frivolous kitchen gadget 47.learn how to say “where’s the bathroom” in six languages 48.Make a toast in a bar 49.make a sandcastle OR make a snowman 50.floss every day for a week 51. Visit a craft store in the morning and complete a gift project for a friend in one day 52. Give a care package of money, food, and clothing to a homeless person 53. Spend at least three nights in a cabin 54.Panhandle $5 (Jess wants to document this!) 55. publish something (a research article, letter to the editor) 56. Hike Mt Rainer 57.Create a survival kit good to last a week 58. Do something special with my mom 59. Eat only food produced with 100 miles of where I live for one week 60. Post Something on BookCrossing (http://www.bookcrossing.com/) ( 7/17/08) 61. Go Caroling 62. Buy a pair of shoes that cost more than $100 (runners don’t count!) 63. Lie in a hammock (Costa Rica, 08/08) 64. Spend a day from sunrise to sundown in silence with no technologym without using electricity 65. Ask a guy out on a date 66. Throw a dinner party for 6, having each guest pick an ingredient and prepare a special course for each featuring that ingredient 67. Do not use my credit or debit card for an entire month, living only on a cash budget 68. Stay up all night 69.See a comedy routine 70. Complete a puzzle 71.Buy something on ETSY 72. Try Rockclimbing or Canyoning (Costa Rica, 8/27/2008) 73. Research the foster care system and the process for becoming a foster parent 74. Tour a farm 75.Ask someone to tell me his/her life story 76. Organize a community/neighborhood event 77. Watch 3 foreign films 78. Do something from The Art of Doing Nothing (like take a “gourmet nap” ) 79. Sneak into a convention 80.Try to send someone a telegram 81. Host/Throw 6 Themed Potlucks (1/6 Nourishment Potluck, 8/15/08) 82. Do a “Price is Right” Challenge by spending as close to $100 in Whole Foods on 25 items. 83. Visit the biggest bookstore in America: Powells in Portland (7/31/2008) 84.Pick an inspirational book (Who Cares?) or movie and organize a community discussion of the book 85. Play Dress Up 86. Eat a meal at a sit down restaurant by myself WITHOUT reading 87. Learn something new (like 5 constellations) and teach something to someone else 88. Write a “If something ever happens to me letter” and give it to a family member AND close family friend 89. Go Camping/Sleep outside 90. Create the “ultimate” picnic 91. Attend a sporting event and drink a beer 92. Do NaNoWriMo (http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/whatisnano) 93. Take 10 pictures with 10 people I love and write one paragraph about our relationship together 94. Attend a murder mystery party 95. Spend a full day shopping with $500 in cash AND NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT! 96. Go to someplace people would called “sacred” (e.g. Great Wall of China, Grand Canyon, Great Barrier Reef, a monastery) 97. Have a share week at work where I share something with a new person each day 98. Do something out of character/comfort zone that others would not expect me to do 99. Follow a financial plan (such as this one: http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2007/01/31/31-days-to-fix-your-finances-a-wrapup/ 100. FREEBIE: TO BE DETERMINED 101.Throw a HUGE shower/celebration for myself when I finish this list